So this is the first blog I've written.
I'm having a personal crisis. and I cant admit it to anyone I know because I put on this big confident front and its easier (like a confessional box) to just tell strangers.
I'm training to be a teacher; but I'm not actually sure anymore that its what I want to do. I've been through proper highs and lows; and I've really started to dread it. Its literally emotional abuse all day, every day for little pay and little joy.
But. Do I complete the PGCE and then look for other stuff to do or do I just jack it all in now and start again? But after doing the PGCE you then have to do an NQT year to qualify. Am I willing to grit my teeth and suffer through the next 2 years for the sake of it? Will it get better? Do I transfer after my PGCE to a Primary course? That would negate the most irritating thing about the job: teenagers.
At 21; am I making mistakes now that will ruin the rest of my life? But I cant afford to stop training and find a job; can I? What on earth should I do? I'm so so stuck; and I cant believe the amount of abuse I'm getting from some teenagers for just trying to teach them some history; maybe I'd enjoy teaching primary as there's none of the stroppiness that puts me off so much.
Then theres my love life; or lack of. Endless dates with guys I dont like and the one guy I like is lukewarm towards me.
Moan moan moan.
I need answers. NOW.
Heck....
You have to ask yourself if these problems are just related to this school, do you think that it might be different in another area?
I would say get though it and try and get some support from your collegues as they were all there once too. Whats the point in acting confident if it is causing you so much distress? They may be be able to help you in ways you do not know about...
Also, it's the same with anything in life, you have to see things through till the end and it will be character building for you and at least you will be able to say you did it. Im assuming that you started the PGCE in september? Its not all that long really...3 months is such a short period of time in the grand scheme of things.
If you get through your probationary period, teaching opens up so many other different areas of work in education. The world could be your oyster...you could even work for Ofsted (megabucks!)
I eventually want to teach and am experiencing the highs and lows of an unqualified (in the PGCE)underpaid nursery 'practitioner'. what I do know is that you have to give 100% at all times in order to get anything back. In a nutshell it's bloody hard work and you have to be dedicated.
I hope you find out where you need to go.
Good luck...
A x